Monday, June 8, 2009

Forget the Whales! Save the Rich!



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"The very rich are different from us," F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said to Ernest Hemingway.

"Yeah," Hemingway replied. "They have more money."





Susan Molinari, the former Republican Congress member and now a lobbyist in Washington, was on the cable news the other day weeping and gnashing her teeth over President Obama's plans to tax rich people.

In the worst recession since World War II with almost 10 percent of working people unemployed, the Republicans are launching a lobbying campaign to save the rich?

Suddenly the rich are an endangered species?

Forget the whales.

Save the rich!

They are the true downtrodden in this recession because they might finally be forced to -- gasp! -- pay taxes.

If they can't hide their income using corporations based on obscure Caribbean islands they will surely perish.

If Congress won't uphold the Bush tax cuts for them then the rich are doomed!

Who is going to buy all those new made-in-China Hummers if the rich are taxed out of existence?

Why if President Obama has his way the rich might end up being treated like everybody else. Then where will we be?

Of course, there's the rich and then there's the RICH.

During last summer's Presidential campaign, Republican nominee John McCain was asked how much money you needed to have to be considered rich. His answer was $600 million. That about what McCain's wife, the beer distributorship heiress, is worth. McCain, who made his money the old fashioned way by marrying into it, was apparently trying to distance himself from then candidate Obama, who has only made a few million in book royalties and therefore is still a working stiff by McCain's standards.

But what about the Billionaires who consider $600 million chump change?

Rumors are floating around the Web of a bizarre meeting of the SUPER RICH, who are apparently trying to figure out where they stand in this economic mess:

The mysterious, media-blackout meeting was called by Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire-Hathaway; Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft; and David Rockefeller Jr., chairman of Rockefeller Financial Services.

In addition to Gates, Buffett and Rockefeller, the attendees included Oprah Winfrey, George Soros, Ted Turner, and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, among others.


Before you can say "conspiracy theory," you might wonder if Gates, worth $57 billion, and Buffet, worth $37 billion, aren't looking to cut a deal with the Democrats who seem intent on sacrificing the rich to the budget gods.

Sure let them tax those losers with a mere $600 million as long as they spare the billionaires.

This is class warfare on an unprecedented level.

The mere rich versus the SUPER RICH.

It could lead to a new version of Whack-a-Mole called "Who Wants to Beat a Millionaire."

Members of the middle class (those with less than $600 million according to the McCain standard) are advised to stay indoors during this phase of the upper class warfare.

Meanwhile reality bites: If only one class of rich people can survive, guess who it is going to be?

Forget the whales.

Forget the rich.

Save the billionaires!

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